Every time I used to think of February, it made me think of roses, Valentine's Day and couples holding hands. At one point I became so jaded by the thought of it, that I began to hate the month. It would make me roll my eyes, cross my arms and pout, almost like those kids you see who don't want to eat their veggies. Of course, like all things, that changed with time. When I dated it was ways to be romantic and spoil the boyfriend. When I got married it was about spoiling my husband, the nice dinner we would go to or creative ways of showing each other love & compassion. When I became a mom, it was about doing crafts for the family with my children so they could show appreciation for each other, their aunts, uncle, grandparents. Now that they are older and doing these crafts in school, it's about showing appreciation and showing them how to show themselves love and compassion.
With all those things we do for others, self love & self compassion, is something that as adults we tend to lack. We put ourselves on "hold" until someone special comes along, or when our significant other notices us, or when someone else remembers we are alive. Mind you, I am very guilty of this. I will take care of my children, things outside of me, my business, my students, whomever and I always put myself last, I forget about me. I forget about my body's needs, the rest it deserves, the care it yearns, the pampering it deserves. I am only human and I forget, but the body will remind you, just as mine reminds me. I have been working around the clock lately, 7 days a week, taking care of kids, my business, teaching, more teaching and even when I get home, I'm on my phone working away on the next schedule, the next workshop, the next advertisement. It doesn't stop, because I don't allow it to stop, I don't allow myself time to chill.
As a mom, my children are beautiful, funny, strong personalities and sometimes a bit insecure because it's natural and we all have them. I have found that being a parent not only do you have to figure out how to care for your children but you have to show your kids that you care for yourself. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE COPY CATS! That's right, they do what you do. Do you look at yourself in the mirror and pick on yourself for being less than perfect? Your children will learn to do the same. Your children will look in the mirror and feel they aren't good enough. How sad! HOW SAD!! All because you aren't happy with you, your child will follow suit. Those beautiful little souls, with their beautiful smiles and contagious laughs that light up every room, that look up to you, will think they aren't good enough. Let that sink in a bit and then come back to this.
Am I guilty of this? Yes, I did it once in front of my daughter and that's all it took, just one time. I heard my daughter say the same thing and I was HORRIFIED! HORRIFIED! At the time she was 2 or 3yrs old! HORRIFIED! Never again. I don't talk negatively about myself in front of my kids, I won't look at myself with distaste (unless I look tired because I'm still learning to not do that and trying to get more rest), and when they compliment me, I say "THANK YOU!" with a smile, lots of hugs and kisses and tell them how sweet they are and how much I love them. Why? Because I want them to appreciate a compliment when they receive one. I used to never take a compliment, until one day a colleague pointed it out. I had to forcefully learn how say thank you, even if I couldn't see what the other person was seeing. Eventually with time, it's a knee jerk reaction to show gratitude for someone else's kindness. Why? Gratitude attracts more positivity in your life, more abundance, more of what you WANT. Being grateful for what you have, and focus on having enough and being enough will make your life feel full. SO, why not show yourself some some self love, some self compassion. For every negative think you say or think about yourself, say 2 things positive. Why 2? Because you have to undo the negative and replace it with something positive. If you can't think of anything, then say the opposite of what you said and then say I AM ENOUGH! I AM ENOUGH!! THAT alone should set the tone of starting to be comfortable in your own skin, and where you are regardless of what is going on. Life is about the journey, the experiences. It's not happening to you, you are just experiencing these things and you have to learn how take a step back and not react, just notice, feel what you feel and know it's okay, it's okay to feel those feelings. We are enough, because perfection doesn't exist, but being enough and happy with who we are, where we are, what we are doing does exist. If you aren't happy then take the steps to get yourself there and enjoy the journey so you can appreciate the end result when you arrive. Appreciate the hard work, the dedication, of what you learn along your way, what your mind, body and inner strength can do for you. Don't kick yourself when you missed a day at the gym or that you had that cookie instead of a salad, tomorrow is another day and the next meal time is around the corner. Shit happens, we make our decisions to indulge and be lazy because we can, embrace it and move on, move forward, learn to say to yourself "it's ok, I love you anyway and we will get there" or learn to say "it's okay, you're beautiful", even if it's with tears in your swollen eyes and broken heart, it's okay, it will be okay and yes, you're beautiful.